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За корупцията в Китай
ShotoCotADate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 00:59:25 | Message # 2236
Group: Гости





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andrewqtsDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 01:44:46 | Message # 2237
Group: Гости





Если кролика неделю не кормить, то он может проглотить удава, а если на
это время его еще и отлучить от крольчихи, то удав пожалеет, что его
сразу не проглотили.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 01:23:15)
---------------------------------------------
Иисус идет по воде. Рядом с ним плывет один из апостолов, приговаривая:
- Зря вы это, учитель... Вода сегодня, как парное молоко!..

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 01:32:21)
---------------------------------------------
Встречаются две подруги. Одна другой жалуется:
- Мой муж так часто разговаривает во сне, что просто жуть! А
твой разговаривает?
- Нет, только улыбается ... сволочь!

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 01:44:46)
---------------------------------------------
Гот! - подумал попугай глядя на ворону...
Гей! - подумала ворона глядя на попугая...

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kayacrawlDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 01:48:02 | Message # 2238
Group: Гости





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andrewjcgDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 02:40:11 | Message # 2239
Group: Гости





А теперь сводка происшествий.
Вчера работник гаража усадьбы Министра финансов раскладным ножом
"Охотник" отыграл в "земельки" у министра финансов 0.5 га земли в районе
Барвихи общей стоимостью 5 млн. долларов.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 02:08:09)
---------------------------------------------
Двое разговаривают:
- Hу что ты думаешь об этих кандидатах?
- Что? Да нам просто повезло, что выберут только одного!

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 02:17:05)
---------------------------------------------
Весна. Лес. Беседуют Маугли и Багира.
- Багира, что со мной? Мне хочется убежать далеко-далеко, спрятаться
глубоко-глубоко, сидеть тихо-тихо. Может, это любовь?
- Нет, Маугли, это начался весенний призыв в армию…

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 02:32:25)
---------------------------------------------
Произошло землетрясение в Турции. Погибло 5000 турков. США выделяет
гуманитарную помощь в размере 5 миллионов долларов, Россия высылает
5 самолетов с продовольствием, Германия присылает 5000 турков…

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 02:40:11)
---------------------------------------------
Плохая примета - ехать ночью... в лес... в багажнике…

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kayacrawlDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 02:40:35 | Message # 2240
Group: Гости





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andrewtgxDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 02:59:16 | Message # 2241
Group: Гости





Заходят Лиса Алиса и Кот Базилио в каморку к Буратино и говорят:
- Не бойся, мы ненадолго! Нам только один вопрос выяснить - сколько тебе
лет?
Буратино смотрит на них и спрашивает:
- А зачем пилу принесли?

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 02:59:16)
---------------------------------------------
Девушка говорит парню:
- Ты такой классный, когда выпьешь!
- Когда я выпью - и ты ничего…

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VomaroloswillDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 03:10:13 | Message # 2242
Group: Гости





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andrewufdDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 03:43:01 | Message # 2243
Group: Гости





Представляете, после громкой Пекинской олимпиады уедут наши спортсмены
с огромным количеством золотых, серебряных и бронзовых медалей... и на
каждой на обороте будет написано "Made in China".

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 03:40:59)
---------------------------------------------
Защитников животных очень легко опознать по лютой, бешеной ненависти к
людям.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 03:43:01)
---------------------------------------------
Имею возможность иметь козу, но не имею желания. Имею желание иметь
машину, но коза говорит: "Сначала шуба!"

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kayacrawlDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 03:44:36 | Message # 2244
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andrewlgvDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 04:08:26 | Message # 2245
Group: Гости





Средство от импотенции "Три Богатыря". Три - это глагол.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 04:08:26)
---------------------------------------------
Мяч еще летел в окно директора, а дети уже играли в прятки…

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VomaroloswillDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 04:23:49 | Message # 2246
Group: Гости





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andrewxnxDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 06:02:59 | Message # 2247
Group: Гости





Бармен обращается к клиенту:
- У вас стакан пустой, не желаете ли еще один?
- А на хрена мне два пустых стакана?

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 04:33:53)
---------------------------------------------
Туристы при виде разведенных мостов в Санкт-Петербурге чаще всего
произносят "Вау!" и тому подобные возгласы...
Жители же Санкт-Петербурга при виде разведенных мостов чаще произносят
"Бля-а-а-а!"

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 04:45:19)
---------------------------------------------
Никогда еще Дон Кихоту не попадалась такая увертливая мельница - Карлсон
был в восторге от игры в пятнашки.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 05:00:43)
---------------------------------------------
Имею возможность иметь козу, но не имею желания. Имею желание иметь
машину, но коза говорит: "Сначала шуба!"

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 05:16:46)
---------------------------------------------
Вот и выросло поколение котов, которые ни разу в жизни не дремали на
тёплом мониторе…

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http://almetevsknews.ru/

Added (20 Feb 2013, 05:23:39)
---------------------------------------------
Один предприниматель интересуется у другого:
- Как тебе удалось добиться того, что твои сотрудники никогда не
опаздывают?
- Очень просто: у меня работает 30 человек, а мест для парковки
всего 20.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 05:27:17)
---------------------------------------------
Как говорят, хорошая шутка удлиняет жизнь на 15 минут, так же как
плохая - укорачивает ее на 15 минут... Итак, перед вами серийный
убийца Евгений Петросян!

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 05:45:28)
---------------------------------------------
Приходит, значит, Волк к Зайцу в контору и говорит:
- Хочу продать три частных домика и небольшую партию свинины…

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 06:02:59)
---------------------------------------------
Человек-паук никого не боится.
Кроме человека-тапка…

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kayacrawlDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 06:08:11 | Message # 2248
Group: Гости





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andrewizcDate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 06:30:34 | Message # 2249
Group: Гости





Сынок! Ты куришь?! Да я в твоем возрасте!... Я в твоем возрасте...
я... впрочем, кури, сынок.

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 06:11:55)
---------------------------------------------
Забегает мужик в аптеку, весь растрепанный и кричит:
- Моя жена хочет отравиться крысиным ядом.
Аптекарь такой вялый, степенный, медленно отвечает:
- К сожалению, у нас нет противоядия от крысиного яда.
- К черту протовоядие, дайте мне крысиного яда!

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Added (20 Feb 2013, 06:30:34)
---------------------------------------------
А теперь сводка происшествий.
Вчера работник гаража усадьбы Министра финансов раскладным ножом
"Охотник" отыграл в "земельки" у министра финансов 0.5 га земли в районе
Барвихи общей стоимостью 5 млн. долларов.

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ShotoCotADate: Сряда, 20 Feb 2013, 06:50:51 | Message # 2250
Group: Гости





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